Thank yous are in need for the only person who thinks I’m actually perfect as I am. Who doesn’t want me to change in any way. Likes to see me wake up in the morning with my hair looking as if a tornado went pass it and still believe it to be beautiful.

They say love is blind. Well lovely, you put the capital L in the word Love.

Thank you for being the greatest person I know.

This post is especially for Jacinta because I promised her ages ago I’ll show her the white jacket/blazer I bought. Sorry babe, although in my clique I’m known as the poser and camera-whore but you beat me heads down hahaha I simply cannot match you when it comes to photos and such.

Though here it is, some photos of me and that jacket also of me playing with ‘dramatic clubbing’ style eyeshadows. My next colour on the list to try out is silver, wait up for it. Enjoy!

Tell me what you think!

The air around me seems tighter every single day. Suffocation eases in. Before I know it, I am already caught in the whirlpool.

But I promise myself there will be no giving up in the restless struggle.

There’ll be a way, there will be a chance… when the loophole appears I’ll burst out and make myself known to the rolling white waves.

Holding on is what I do best.

So I’ll cling onto all that I can until I know I cannot take anymore and eventually submit to the darkness.

When we’re made, we come into this world with nothing but when we leave it–do we end up with anything at all? Or all returns to mother earth?

Oblivious.

Do you have a habit where you like things to be in set? For example your dishes or glass are from one design, you get the same publishing company for a particular book series? Most of all your lingerie, they must be in sets? I wonder if that’s weird habit to have.

I’ve been cringing every time I look at my cosmetic brush holder because it looks all very messy to me. I get random brushes from here and there due to gifts and bonus gift packs from department stores. The only brushes I bought are from The Body Shop and Everyday Minerals. I must say The Body Shop brushes are of great quality and reasonable price however their designs to the brushes are not as diverse as Lancôme. Allow me to show you one comparison.

The Body Shop Eyeshadow Blender Brush

Lancôme Blending Shadow Brush #17

As you can see there is a difference in their blending brush style. Personally I like Lancôme one better because it is easier to blend your shadows, as the bristle is in more of  a round tip, the blending will be subtle and precise. Whilst The Body Shop one, it may move your colours all too much and ruin the style you are going for with it’s flatter head.

If you have a closer look at the ranges both brand have to offer you will notice Lancôme have a lot of professional style brushes than The Body Shop.

Thus now I’m thinking of investing in my own collection of Lancôme brushes.

MAC is really popular but as you all know, I’m a Lancôme whore, that clearly explains it.

Regular blogging is so not my thing but I presume the reason for my constant blogging has to do with my stressful state of mind at the current moment.

We’re going to leave the seeking employment out because that alone is already making me way angry. I know I’m capable, why can’t I just get a chance?

Onto another major incident is the fact that my oldest sister, Phuong, intentionally overdosed herself with sleeping pills. I don’t think we will ever be sure if she was suicidal because that’s such a heavy question to ask, “Did you want to commit suicide?”

If you read my earlier entry, you notice how I wrote about her arrival back into my family after the separation with her husband. Until now they still keep in contact for whatever reason I do not know, but I guess they do have two children together so there’s a lot to work out.

On Saturday night, the eve of the Lunar New Year she was talking on the phone with him and they had yet another argument about money. Yes, with Raymond it’s always money. He could go and die with all his money for all I care. After they ended the call Phuong was very upset and “claim” that she couldn’t sleep so she took some sleeping pills to assist her.

The doctor at the hospital she’s currently staying at said there were 2 types of pill she took and it was in a large consumption. They also asked us if there’s anything happening at home that would affect her to irrationally do this. Henceforth, we told them about the pressure and stress she’s getting from the separation and the argument she had with Raymond before the incident.

Now the doctor is keeping my sister in the hospital for longer to observe to see if she will need anti-depressant medication.

Another information that I found out is that Phuong told my brother, Danh, that if Raymond asked her to return to him she would do it. That is only if he apologize and ask her to come back.

Why would you want to go back to such a person? I simply don’t understand and don’t think I ever will.

My dad told us that if this time Phuong decides to go back with Raymond, he’ll never look at her again. The guy pushed her hard enough to leave a bruise the size of Africa I tell you.

Nevertheless, I just want her to be happy and the children to grow up a good person.

But right now everything is so messed up. I’m quite exhausted and really want to be somewhere else. I’m on mummy duty for my two nieces until Phuong is discharge from the hospital a week later. Poor babies of mine!

I can’t say this enough but Koda Kumi is one hell of a hectic artist. Who can be so versatile as she is and excel at it all? You have my respect and admiration Miss Koda. I hereby announce that I’m absolutely your fan. When I say that you all should be shock because I’m not a celebrity-fan type of person. Yes I’m a fan of bubble tea, a fan of Japanese food, a fan of Lancome–but of an actual person? Psh that’s a tricky one.

Well there you have it. Koda Kumi I’m in your fan list. If you ever come to Sydney, please all I want to do is stare at you and say AISHITERU~

Here it is people, Koda Kumi’s 8th album called Universe. The preview is below so take a look.

If you would like me to show evidence of how awesome she is, well this post will go on for an eternity. Okay, I’ll simply show you two clips. Just two. Then you tell me, “Bloody oath. You are right the Great My Anh. She is helluva a woman just like you!”

Yes, that’s right. You know I’m correct.

First up…

MOON CRYING

CAN WE GO BACK

(The composer allowed both Koda and Kelly Clarkson copyright for this single. Clearly, Koda rocked this song better than Clarkson.)

So you see what I mean on how versatile she can be? From a beautiful ballad song into an edgy rock pop. Oh got to love it! I’ll leave you with videos of her live performances.

You bet I’m going to grab her Universe album.

P.S The name of my website, Kingdom, is taken from Koda Kumi’s album name. So she has Kingdom and now Universe… what is next? Darn, I can’t think of anything that’s grandeur than universe.

It has come upon my notice that I have a lot more clothes for wearing at home than actual “going out” attires. That just proves I’m a homey person right? But no, even if I’m a homey person I still want sassy & sophisticated clothes that would make me feel drop dead gorgeous (hopefully I do?) when I’m out with my mates.

Looking through Cooper St latest collection I have to keel over because I want it, so bad that if right now anyone tells me to drop down in the middle of a crowded street and do push-ups for it–down I go. By the way, I love Cooper St. They always have something that I like either it’s something flirty and feminine or stylish with a cutting-edge-of-the-art feel. Yeah sorry I tend to make up weird descriptions for things.

Feel free to buy me any of these and I’ll do all your biddings, even if it means wiping your cheeky bottoms, pun wholly intended.

Oh yeah, I have something important to say.

If I was 1.70m with a killer body, I would wear a skin tight beautiful pencil skirt along with a blouse that screams ‘rich bitch’, I’ll top it off with Jimmy Choo stilettos. I’ll wear that outfit everywhere. I’ll run in it, play sport in it (not like I even play sport), hike in it, swim in it, sleep in it, give birth in it, die in it… you get the idea right? Right!

This is always an easy piece to wear. Simple and stylish is my perfect companion.

How chic is this? I would totally wear this every single day if I can get away with it.

Love love the pants. I'm too short to pull it off but man they're damn sexy in a demure way.

Again, the pants! I've been wishing to get just 10cm taller all my life but it never happened. Good bye my beautiful pants.

Something easy to wear again, though I think the jacket will be too long for my body frame. Like it all the same.

Winter is coming, I'll be supporting this leather tight pants with a coat like that. Great isn't it?

It's a sad thing I can't pull off a 'rock. grudge. tough' look because okay look at my face, I have none of that features and I can't even pretend. But hey, can't stop me from liking how cool this outfit looks.

Dearest ‘the one who got away’,

There may have been times where I wish so hard I could hate you to make everything much easier for me, but try as I might, hating you is something I don’t think I could ever do.

You’ve taught me most of the things I know today and for that I thank you. Through the years there hasn’t been a time where I take you for granted because you’re the most special person to me. When I was merely a young girl with not much insight to the real world, you were there to guide me through it. You were the first person to treat me as if I’m an adult, you scolded me when it is needed–for that I am a better person. Many times, it was you who helped me make mature decisions when I was lost with no one to lend a helping hand. Simply put, you were always there.

Now that you’re not with me any longer, though it pains me every moment when I think of not being able to talk to you ever again, I know now that moving on is what you would do.

I’m sorry if this sounds as though you died or some sort, but in a sense to me it feels closely to it. If I can’t speak to you, can’t spend my nights talking about all the stupid things in the world with you, not having you around… that to me feels almost the same. The grief, the sorrow, the heartache–it’s like you died and took pieces of me with you to wherever you are.

I still can’t say your name, I can’t write it and when I hear it or see it… I cannot take it. I keep telling myself through time it will certainly get better, I hope I’m right. Since you’ve been gone, I avoided staying up late which to me means pass midnight. When I stay up until that time my mind will automatically wanders to you because it’s around that time where we usually talk the most. Those nights where I tried so hard to stay awake just to speak to you and be with you. But now I’m avoiding that time frame so that I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep thinking of you.

Today is your birthday and you should know what I wish most for you, happiness. Just knowing you’re happy and well brightens up my day.

Perhaps later in the future, my memory of you will become blur and I cannot remember as much details as I do now but there’s one thing I know will last–feelings. My gratitude, my friendship, my love and my wishes for your well-being will forever be within me.

If I have to do it all over again, I would still let you take my heart.

Usually I sign off a message to you with ‘always’ and I only keep that sign off for you, I don’t use it for anyone else. So today it will be…

Always and always,
M

Whoever knows me, they would be inform with the fact that I’m not into Taiwanese idol dramas or any Asian actors. This including TVB and ATV as well. I’m more into the older generation, where Andy Lau kicked ass in The Return of The Condor Heroes. Felix Wong? Like how cool was he? Let’s not forget my favourite Vincent Jiao, he’s heavenly.

Though this post will be my first entry ever about a young Taiwanese male actor, Vanness Wu. I know, Vanness… F4? Meteor Garden? Euw.

Surprise, surprise, his latest drama Autumn’s Concerto blew me away. Oh can that guy act now… hell yeah. The raw emotions, the confusion, the hatred, passion and of course self-confidence–all top notch. Congratulations to you Vanness Wu for improving and branching away from pathetic F4.

Just to clear this up, no he’s not going to be my idol (what a joke, the only person I idolise is myself) nor will he be my favourite. Hello? Who do you think I am. I do not swoon over him, trust me. I know it when I’m swooning, like when I see Hugh Jackman in the movie Australia. The part where he was topless and washing himself outside in the wilderness. I almost wet my pants. Jackman is delectable.

At the moment this drama is having the highest rating but many people are waiting to see if it will top over “Fated To Love You” (I watched this drama with my mum, it’s not that wonderful in my opinion) which had an average of 13.**% don’t know the rest of the numbers.

Okay here is a music video of the drama along with one of its soundtrack. The song sounds beautiful and it’s my latest “on repeat” track.

Song title: Why Did You Lie?
Artist: Ding Dang

English Translation:
When I leave this time
I have nothing more to say
I don’t want to wait in expectation…
(that) how exciting it could be
I don’t understand how you could be so calm
And can’t grasp your stubbornness
But I know
Why you lied

You said that you were always there
You never left even for 1 minute or second
I wanted to stay here
But it’s all too late
I can’t be like before
Went crazy for our future
You don’t need to explain, Why you lied

Chorus:
You can’t say that I never loved before
Or say that I never waited, or was never sad
I just want to say
Maybe if we were to start again, I would still be subdued
You keep asking me if my heart is still with you
You asked that how could I not regret throwing away love
And my tears
how it just kept flowing..

Are we all moving too fast in life? Are we constantly missing out on things that are passing us by?

I know I am.Yet I can’t help it.

Everyday, I want it to end faster thinking in some miraculous way if time moves rapidly I could achieve what I want.

More than often I have a battle with myself. I say, “My Anh just relax. Take your time, you don’t need to rush yourself.” After that I would go grab a book, read it and I feel a lot better. However, the next day the same problem arise. In my mind I continue to think that I’m not doing anything productive, I’m not getting anything done. I must do something, I have to run, run really fast so that I could reach toward the future I am aiming for.

But I know that the present also counts, it matters as well.

Do you ever get yourself stuck in a situation similar to this? Where you know what you should do but you can’t fix yourself, you just go on making the same error knowingly.

As I always believe, your worst enemy tends to be yourself.

Though I have to thank my nieces and nephew for being with me. Their presence reminds me to really appreciate what is currently in my life at the moment. Watching them play around, surrounding me, I often wonder how long will this last? When will they grow up and start to go out with their own friends, no longer wanting to have me with them? So I would stop trying to race with time. I would sit down, stand up, jump about and sing aloud with them–simply enjoying the moments that I’ll have them to myself.

Amazing isn’t it? Children teaches us a lot of lessons in life and I never treat them like a child. Therefore, I detest it when adults think that they have the right to control or have the better knowledge than younger children. You never know when they will turn around and say such an innocent remark that hits you right on the spot of certainty.

I’m hoping with the help of my nieces and nephew, I’ll be able to not drive myself way too fast.

I’ll pause whatever I’m doing, thinking or planning so that they wouldn’t change too rapidly until I can’t recall anything about our time together.

That’s my promise to them, the precious jewels in my life.